Everything Must Go!

My plan for this blog, aside from fulfilling a school obligation was to have a place to rant and vent as well as post a few cartoons and some of my musings.  I thought it would be 100 percent opened, honest and uncensored but as I think about what to write I find myself torn between letting it all hang out (as the kids say) and trying not to offend people who may read this for some reason.

Now that doesn't mean that there are taboo subjects.  I'm willing to post things like a list of people I'd like to see dead:  Eric Clapton, but I guess if I really want to be honest and uncensored I'll have to write in a personal diary that I keep under the mattress and no one else ever sees.  For this forum I'll have to be content with letting most of it hang out.

Over the Hill and the Handelbars

I just got back from walking the dogs and the cloudless sky was filled with constellations.  It's the first night in a while when I couldn't see the fog of my breath as we walked around the block.  The brilliant stars were not the first stars I'd seen today, but that's getting ahead of myself.

Today, Sunday was the first time this year I got my bike out for a ride.  Chris Flaherty called last night to see if my nephew Jeremy and I would be interested in going for a bike ride to D.C.  I was up for it and so was Jeremy so this morning at around 10:00 we headed over to the Flaherty's to start the days adventure.  Once we got there, there was the usual bit of inflating tires and checking maps but around 11:30 we were on our way.  Chris has already put over 100 miles on his bike since the first of the year and Jeremy has been working out and was bike riding before the snows hit last month so I was the odd out of shape man out which is not unusual.  What I lack in physical preparedness I make up for in my willingness to call a cab if things go sour.

Chris plotted a course for Washing D.C. which included a few stops at watering holes where we could rehydrate ourselves.  After a particularly steep hill we opted for the closest bar we could find to get something to drink and some much needed food.  The three of us destroyed a pizza and Chris and I enjoyed a beer each while Jeremy was contented with Coca-cola.  Due to the shortness of daylight this time of year it was decided that we should take the Metro train to Union Station in D.C. and then spend the better part of the daylight hours exploring the sites downtown along the mall.  What we didn't plan on was that Jeremy's bike would suffer a flat tire which would change out plans.  Chris and Jeremy noticed the flat while on the train so the first thing we had to do was to find a bike shop where we could either buy the supplies to repair the tire ourselves (Chris is and old hand at this sort of thing) or have them fix it for us (my vote). 

After a few phone calls and a few wrong turns we did find Capitol Hill Bike Shop and in the time it took us to have one beer they had it fixed and we were riding again.  We had lost some precious daylight during all this so our main objective was to give Jeremy a brief tour of the Mall starting at the Capitol building, riding down to the Washington monument and cutting over to the White House (all these sites were a first for young Jeremy) before cutting back to the train station for the trip back to the station closest to Chris' home.  We had about an hour of daylight left when we got off the train and the trip would take about 45 minutes (if I were in shape) so we set out.  Washington D.C. is the low ground so it is mostly up hill to get out of there (or at least it seemed that way).

The route we took was mostly off the main roads and through residential neighborhoods.  One of these neighborhoods has a long gently turning down hill stretch where we could pick up some much needed speed.  As always I was bringing up the rear so Chris and Jeremy were out of my line of sight when while picking up speed I hit a patch of loose stones/sand which litters the sides of the roads everywhere after last months snow cleanup.  Of course I panicked and tried to brake which drove me further out of control and I hit the curb sending me over my handlebars and face first into the soft muddy sod.  The last thing I remembering saying before the launch was "OH SHIT!!!".  I recovered quickly (nobody saw that) and was wiping dirt off my clothes and face and accessing the damage to my bike when Jeremy and Chris rode up to see what was keeping me.  I was a sight. 

My glasses had been pushed into my face, cutting the bridge of my nose and giving me a beautiful little shiner.  I was pretty covered in mud and the mud on my back led the conclusion that I may have flipped over on my back after doing my initial face plant.  On the plus side the only other injury was a sprained wrist.  My bike was a little twisted but nothing that couldn't be put to right pretty quickly.  It's not perfect but I was able to get back on and continue our sojourn home.  We had lost more daylight with all that going on and Chris offered to call his wife Sue to do a roadside pickup.  Not wanting to risk further injury I was only to glad to agree but I suggested she meet us someplace like a strip mall and not have her have to do a road side pick up.  We were less that three miles from their house but night was falling fast as it does this time of year.   Luckily for us there was a near by strip mall that had a place called (I'm not making this up)  Buffalo Wings & Beer.  Needless to say we put off the pickup a bit so we could get a bite to eat and some much needed beer.  I got the Shiner Bock in honor of my new blemish and we sat a while and talked about the days events.

Chris asked Jeremy what his favorite part of the trip was and he said the actual bike riding.  It was true that with all the train riding and having to walk the flat tire around the riding portion was pretty brief.  I think we logged about 17 miles including the walking.  I liked best that I was ambulatory  and didn't require any medical attention (but the cold beer glass felt good on my face.)  I think Chris's favorite part had to do with the quick efficient service we received at the first place we stopped.  I hope these little misfortunes don't keep Chris from asking us out for a ride again.  It was really a nice day to just be out and was much needed after The February snow had kept us home bound for so long.

Chris's Reply:

Just a few points of clarification:  Steve was probably going about 20 mph at the “OH SHIT” point (my speedometer was reading 22 at that spot) so I would have to attribute his relative good health at this point to either his innate athleticism or the softness of the ground on which he landed.  There were four divetts  in the ground where he landed about 4 inches deep each – I’m thinking left hand, face, right hand, left knee.   

Second: We actually went twenty miles, and the part of Maryland where we did most of this is cut with lots of stream valleys.  The roads that follow the ridges are heavily infested with distracted drivers, so the route we took included lots of climbs and descents.  Next time, a flatter route.

Third: Yes.  The outstanding service at our first stop was indeed the highlight of my day.

Dress your age, not your IQ

Kathy and I were in Florida in March and of course one of our activities when we're together is that we go shopping. We were visiting a Target Greatland (The biggest frigging Target I've ever seen) and I saw a t-shirt in the men's department with Ralph Wiggums picking his nose on the front and of course I was in love. It would perfectly match my antenna topper. I began to gush and Kathy said to me " you know, at some point you have to dress your age".

Of course she's right. I need another t- shirt (and another Simpson's shirt no less) like I need another hole in my head but there was something about the her statement that's stuck with me.

First of all, how does someone my age dress? Are there rules for this sort of thing? Looking through my closet I see shirts that I've had since the 1980. I guess I dress out of date and maybe a new Ralphie shirt is too hip for me. Or maybe it's time I traded in all my t-shirts for cardigan sweaters and smoking jackets.

I'm stumped about the whole thing really. I've always been one to dress more for comfort and warmth that for fashion. I know that may come as a big surprise to everyone, but there it is.

I wonder how late Target is opened.

This is for my Website design project so we'll see where it goes from here.